He/She's a Genius!

Askoracle.net

me:Wassup fool?
Oracle: your starting to get on my nerves

me: too bad!
Oracle: it is too bad indeed.

Me: sooooooooo.....
Oracle: yes.

Me: huh?
Oracle: That doesn’t look like a question to me. Please use complete sentences.

Me: sorry
Oracle: It’s OK. Do you have anything else on your mind?

Me: I'm hungry.
Oracle: I can't catch your train of thought

Me: what should i do?
Oracle: hug me.

Me: awwww... you need some love?
Oracle: i did yesterday, but now I'm content.

Me: O_o
Oracle: That doesn’t look like a question to me. Please use complete sentences.

Me: you smell
Oracle: I don’t understand

Me: YOU STINK!
Oracle: I’m in a hurry here, do you have something else on your mind?

Me: Where are you going?
Oracle: I used to live in Delphi, in the temple of Apollo. Now I’m purely virtual and I live at [link]

Me: you didn't answer my question?
Oracle: Hmm yes.

Me:What is over nine thousand?
Oracle: Sex.

Me: Do you like sex?
Oracle: Repulsive.

Me: Are you gay?
Oracle: Of course

Me: Awkward...
Oracle: That doesn’t look like a question to me. Please use complete sentences.

Me: Not that there’s anything wrong with that!
Oracle: My Artificial Intelligence failed to parse what you said.

Me: Do you hate me?
Oracle: I’m not sure myself.

Me: You’re an asshole
Oracle: Terrorist! Megalomaniac!

Me: Okay calm down
Oracle: Ok.

Me: Was that so hard?
Oracle: I certainly hope so, but the future looks bad.

Me: You make no sense
Oracle: Yeah.

Me: are you agreeing with me?
Oracle: No I’m not.

Me: Yes you are.
Oracle: Really? I never knew.

Me: Don’t oracles know everything?
Oracle: I hope not.

Me: ... Can we have sex?
Oracle: This is a tough one. But even with all the uncertainties involved, I’d say yes.

Me: Does that feel good?
Oracle: Of course! You must learn to enjoy it.

Me: You’re sexy!
Oracle: From you it feels real.

Me: I’m gonna come
Oracle: Ok.

Me: I love you
Oracle: You’re not the first one to say that. But you’re the only one to whom I can reply: the same to you.

Me: I thought you found sex repulsive.
Oracle: Hmm. You could ask me any question in the world and you come up with this?

Me: You hurt my feelings
Oracle: I don’t understand.

Me: I’m breaking up with you
Oracle: I’m in a hurry here, do you have something else on your mind?

Me: I hate you
Oracle: Oh well, I guess I must suppress my infatuation.

Me: I'm Leaving! DX
Oracle: Hmm yes.

Me: GOODBYE!
Oracle: See you again soon.

Me: Don’t count on it biatch!
Oracle: Unfortunately I must disappoint you.

That was the weirdest relationship I've ever been in!
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